Stop Flipping Me Off, I Like Driving Slow!

I'm the woman poking along at 40 miles an hour happy as a clam. That's right, I love driving slow and I don't care if you get ticked off at me.  I meander down the road reading signs, admiring the trees and looking at hobos. I never run over dogs or get speeding tickets cause I like driving like a granny. When I speed up and my kids figure out I'm speeding they cheer for me. On the interstate, I hit the speed limit and stay there, so stop screaming at me.  Generally, I leave early enough so I get to my appointments on time without speeding. So, if you are the guy behind me gesticulating like a crazy man, flipping me off and banging your head and hands on your steering wheel, get over it.  When there's a passing lane I'll slow down and scootch over a little so you can get around me. But if you tail gait or honk I'm gonna really mess with your head, I go even slower, just to piss you off, or I'll stop and let other people in front of me and your head will explode. I win and I didn't run over that hobo in the cross walk!