Happy People

I'm reading David Niven's PH.D. The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People. Not bad. So, number one...we are all here for a purpose. We are supposed to get good things done. There's a reason we were born and our lives make a difference. Guess I better get to it.

Guys...arrr

I think the guys in the house should have to clean the toilet. Inside and out because girls rarely miss.

CAT!

Funky Models

I picked up a copy of Bazaar and I was so so happy I didn't want any of the high fashion clothes in there.I don't want the 2,350 dollar Jason Wu purse of the $195 dollar pair of orange pants from DKNY. I don't want tolike the women in the Calvin Klein ad because they scare me had have lips the size of Vermont. Then there's an outfit by Stella McCartney that looks so freakin silly, it's a top with lapels so large the cover the models underwear, but she's not wearing any pants. It's so goofy I'm having a hard time describing it. I couldn't get a picture of it but here's another one of her's that I really don't want. The only woman I think I have anything in common with in the copy of Harper's is Ellen DeGeneres. That's saying something right there.

Way Too Much Down Time

If you are at home doing this...Get A Job!

What Did I Say to My Kids?

The Way We Talk to our Children Becomes Their Inner Voice.
- Peggy O’Mara

That's such a huge thought.  What did I say to my kids this morning and last night? Is that still rolling around in their beautiful brains? I do know I yelled "I love you Monkey Butt" out the bathroom window as they were walking down to the bus. So I guess I'm ok.

A Guitar That Sounds Like Dolphins! DQ

DQThere are two things I love about Dairy Queen, first the commercials. they are really really funny. They blow bubbles with kittens in them. That's funny.  These commercials are so good, when they come on the tv everybody in the house starts yelling at each other so we can all watch.That hasn't happened since my grandmother fell in love with Sheriff Matt Dillon in Gun Smoke in 1968.  Here's the link to the one about the guitar that sounds like dolphins.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jSF4WIREdEThe second thing I love are the their mushroom Swiss burgers. Oh my Lord, they are so yummy. The smell is intoxicating and they taste better than any burger I've eaten in years.  When I get burgers I try not to eat the bun so I sit in DQ with a yummy slippery grilled hamburger covered in mushrooms and Swiss cheese. I might look disgusting but man am I happy.

Get Him!

I just thought it was funny.

Get Him Mr. Cop

Oh my Lord, there's nothing better than driving on the interstate, a dude tailgates, then passes like an idiot. At 90 miles an hour. He glares at you as he swooshes past. And then you hear it, it the distance, the sound of the siren and you see the blue lights in your rearview mirror. The cop is coming up behind you like a tornado, and you know he's not coming for you. And as you pass the doof face and copper on the side of the road you wave and smile. JUSTICE

The Perfect Birthday Gift

I love knowing exactly what I'm going to get someone for their birthday.  Lexie turns 15 this Friday and there's not a doubt in my mind what I'm buying. And she's going to love the ____________________. When she opens the box/package she willl make all kinds of happy noises, she'll do the little happy dance, I love so much. Yeah, the ____________will fit, will be perfect, will be loved, unlike the Swivel Store that didn't fit in my cabinet this weekend. Because I know exactly what I'm getting her I don't have to wander through the Mall picking up weird shirts and hats and books she doesn't care about. I don't have to hold up odd looking jewelery and wonder if she will think it's cool. And I don't have to buy her a pet that might die in six month because she'll forget to feed it. (wait  minute, that wasn't Lexie, that was Mary who accidentally killed her pets. She gave them plenty of love but not enough water) Lexie is gonna love the ______________and I'm gonna be a hero.

Stupid Swivel Store

I got the Swivel Store, spice rack thing, for my birthday. I was very excited.  I've been wanting it for months because I believed it would improve my life and my kitchen cabinets.  I loaded it up with all the spices I never use, curry, marjoram, allspice. Who uses that stuff?  But when I tried to put it in the cabinet...it didn't fit. It's too tall. That's sad but we also got a pull up bar for the doorway and it's awesome. Everyone told me if you hang a bar, you'll want to do chin ups.  It's true, everybody has spent the day trying to do them. I managed tow, jack did dozen, Lexie almost got one and Sandor and his little buddies tried for hours to do a few. They pulled and pulled until their skinny little arms were shaking.  So, no luck for the spices but say yes to the chin up bar. Get you some guns!

Mondays Are Alright

Monday mornings...they are perfect. Yes, my desk is a mess, I left a cup of coffee sitting there, next to my phone and it looks really gross and there's a bunch of crap in my InBox but that's ok because I'm pure as snow on Monday morning. My past sins are forgiven, eveything I did last week is washed away, all the time I spent on facebook and talking to my kids...that's water under the bridge.  This week will be different, I'll be focused and productive. I'll take care of my clients, I'll do the right thing at the right time, I'll make money and have fun.  And it all starts right now, today, Monday.

Wrestling? Let's Go!

This afternoon my son tried to tackle me in the grass. I didn't go down till he used the leg sweep. At first I was kind of mad, "You can't tackle your mom".  then I threw him down and he laughed, jumped up and came at me again. this time I swept his legs and tossed him down again.  Over and over he came at me and we wrestled around in the grass. He's 8 now and getting pretty big. He's a black belt and plays foot ball so he's got some skill. But you know what? I can still take him down, this week and I'm almost fifty and still like wrestling. It's fun and boy did it make him happy cause he's boy. I know I must look silly but wrestling is great and I think I'm gonna keep on doing it for a while.

Smile Untill It Hurts

Sometimes I smile so much my face hurts. How great is that? Today I talked to so many nice people, folks I've never met before and now my face hurts.  While it's actually an unpleasant feeling, and I'm ready to stop smiling for a few minutes, I have to be thrilled by the cause.  My face hurts from smiling. If I'm smiling I must be happy. This odd condition also tells me I don't smile enough, so I'm going to make sure I'm smiling when I'm happy. The truth is everybody looks younger and more interesting when they are smiling. Do you want a teacher that smiles or frowns. Do you like the garbage man who smiles or glares. If you get arrested do you want the pissed off cop or the one who smiles. And waitress...who wants an angry waitress...please give me a happy waitress or bartender. So, before you run out a pay 7,000 dollars on a face lift, try smiling till it hurts.

I Love My Gym

    Recently I joined Anytime Fitness and it's now one of my favorite places on the planet. I've been part of two other very popular clubs, here in Hot Springs but AF is so much better...BECAUSE ITS FRIENDLY! And my Anytime has great equipment. I can't stand walking into a health club and feeling as though everybody is checking me out, what kind of shoes am I wearing? what kind of tank top? Does my hair look perfect, am I one of those people who sweats on the treadmill?  The staff at both my AF are crazy friendly and helpful and a little silly. they tease me when I only stay 20 minutes, they cheer for me when I shave two seconds off my mile. And that's what I need in a gym.  Plus, AF smells good and has really really clean bathrooms.  The last place I worked out had a shower changing room and all the really really large old ladies liked to sit around naked. I mean naked naked. It was disturbing and made me uncomfortable then I felt shallow and judgemental cause I felt uncomfortable. Put  towel on, please. So that's my shout out to Anytime Fitness, it's a good place.

PS they didn't pay me to write this.

Abercrombie Web Page Fun

If you need to be entertained for a minute go check out the Abercrombie and Fitch web page. It's too much fun because the models on the home page are super pretty and almost naked with skin as smooth as a water balloon.  The page doesn't make me want to buy their clothes but it does make me think about shaving my husband's chest. Hairless, like a seal pup, looks pretty good on Abercrombie guys. Then go look at the jeans, men or women.  They only show the jeans and the beautiful bellies of their models. No arms or faces.Holy cow, those are some crazy looking torsos.  Again, hairless to the extreme.If you check out the yoga pants it's the same deal, except the models have extreme abs and cherry bomb butts.I think these girls had the perfect buts before they bought the yoga pants. But if their yoga pants can make my butt look like a perfect honeydew melon, I might need some. The great thing is, after looking at their page I don't want their clothes or their models, I just want to look and laugh. Here's the link. Have fun!  http://www.abercrombie.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StoreView?storeId=10051&langId=-1&catalogId=10901

tomorrow

I know what I'm writing about Wed. morning.  How much fun it is to make fun of the abercrombe & fitch web page.  Half of them are naked and the rest look really mean. Ha!~

I'm Jacking Your Cash!

"Oh my gosh, look what I just found. A wad of bills in my pants pocket!." or  "Look, I found eight dollars in these jeans I haven't worn in a month."  That's one of the best feeling in the world. Of course as you unroll the money blob you are hoping there's a twenty in the middle. But even if there isn't, finding money, even your own money is so cool. Because for some weird reason it's free money. I can do anything I want with money I find in my pants pocket or better still in the washing machine.  If I'm doing the laundry and find a ten dollar bill, I'm keeping it buddy. I don't care who's pants it came out of, that Jackson is mine and there's no telling what I'm gonna do with it. Hell, I might buy ten dollars worth of gummy worms and call it a happy day.

Moral of the story...do your own laundry

The Way Morning Smells

The way a good morning smells makes me crazy happy. Good golly miss molly, I love waking up and smelling the coffee, knowing it's already there, waiting for me, hot and fresh. And then it gets even better when I smell something else yummy, even if it's just toast. So go on, get the day rolling before I get out of bed. I love those morning kitchen smells.

The Black Eyed Peas Can't Sing At My Funeral :-(

Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night...I love that song in the morning. I know it's not very good but it's so much fun. Me and Fergie, we're tight.  I told my kids I wanted that song played at my funeral because I was going to heaven and be with my old family and God. It would be a party and a very good night. But Lexie, who is 14, said no, I can't have the Black Eyed Peas singing at my funeral.  Because it would sound like everyone was happy and dancing BECAUSE I was dead. 
Still...tonight's gonna be a good night!

If you like this silly stuff, check out http://www.hampoland.com/.

He's Not A Stupid Stoner Anymore!

Walking through Wal-Mart I ran into a boy I  knew five or seven years ago. He was in my daughter's class. Back then he was a sorry punk loser and I figured he'd end up with neck tatts in prison. He was the kid with a messed up family who hit mail boxes with a base ball bat at least twice a year. He picked on little kids on the school bus then when he got older he drove like an idiot around the elementary school building. I'm pretty sure he's the kid that spray painted cuss words on the kinder garden slide and play house. Yeah, he was horrible. But now James seems to be just fine. I saw him this weekend, he's 22 years old and looks great. He's going to the Community College and working for the Parks Department. He introduced me to his girlfriend and they have a beautiful little two year old son. He shook my hand then gave me a hug. I'm so happy.

STOP and Smile At That Guy

Almost everyday I pass road construction guys. They stand out there with a stop/slow sign wearing a hard hat and orange vest.  I like waving at these dudes or at least smiling (not in a slutty "come over here" way) and then seeing them wave back or at least give me a head nod. That's got to be a pretty wretched job, especially when it's 104 degrees and they're wearing blue jeans. So I'm happy when I can make them smile. They are important, they keep me from having a head on collision with on-coming traffic. A smile is the least I can offer. And if they are happy maybe they will hurry up, finish their job and get the hell out of my way.

Loser On Line

When I log onto facebook and see I have 8 notifications, 4 messages and a friend request I feel so good!Why? It makes me fell like I'm witty or smart. Nobody comments on stupid, boring updates, unless they come from famous people.  If I get messages I feel as though somebody cares about me and the friend notifications are pretty exciting because it means somebody was actually looking for me and was happy they found me.  Maybe, online, I seem moderately interesting.I try not to put stuff like "just trimmed my toe nails". Who cares, right? Just a few years ago there wasn't a facebook. What made me happy back then?  I do remember the first time I got on line and "chatted" with people. I felt like a stranger in a strange land, I didn't know their language and every time they typed LOL, I swear I thought they were saying "loser on line". My family has always been a little paranoid.

So, if you want to make me happy, hit me up on facebook.
Diana McDaniel Hampo
or you can check my other blog http://www.hampoland.com/

Hobos In Love

                                                  

In the shady part of town, in the nice part of town, I feel better when I see hobos in love.  This may sound odd, but seeing homeless or "down on their luck" folks walking together, holding hands, makes me feel good. Maybe those guys don't have a house with a porch, maybe the are going to the Jackson House to get a free peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, maybe they don't have any money at all, so they are going to ask for change at the Walgreens, but they have each other. They have a companion and someone to talk to for a little while.  They love each other and hold hands as they walk up the street. I do and give what I can and I know it's not enough, but sometimes, having a hand to hold is the most important thing.

I Want To Shop For My Own Birthday

I try not to go to malls and look at stuff because it makes me want everything. Malls and the Internet make me want stuff i didn't even  know existed and that's just stupid. I've lived very well without most of the see. Still, when I look something like the gardeners supply boot tray I think I have to have it.  Yeah, I want that boot tray cause it keeps all the muddy boots off the ground.  We have something called a 'shoe pot' behind our front door. By the end of the week there are sometimes seven or eight pairs of shoes and boots in the pot.  A rack that holds them sounds way better than a  pot. I also want a new pair of cowboy boots and Toms to put in my shoe pot.

I want furniture too because none of ours matches. We have granny furniture from three different old women and the kids get the left overs.  I need a twin trundle bed pull out for Sandor's room. It has drawers underneath so he can more effectively hide all his trash, dead lizards and candy wrappers when I tell him to clean his room. When I see things like boot trays and trundle beds I imagine my house will suddenly be clean and organized if I just buy this stuff.

And then there's my bed.  If I don't get Botox for my birthday I better get a beautiful quilt and bedding set. I actually really like this one. It's a black damask bedding set and it's gorgeous. Look it all matches! I have three different pillow cases on my bed right now, stripes, white, and Sponge bob Square Pants.  I would feel like a queen if I had a bed that looked like this and I'd probably make my bed a lot more often. I think my kids would even respect me more if my bed was this beautiful. Chances are they'll bring me breakfast in bed just cause my room is so lovely. 

My birthday is only three weeks away. Hey folks, you need to start shopping now and please use real wrapping paper. I'm not a fan of those gift bags.

Friday Night Glory

Friday morning...it's awesome because there's a home game tonight at Fountain Lake. And on Friday mornings when I drive around the school I get to see all the senior high players in the big purple jerseys.  They stand together, they swagger together. The girls bump up against them and everybody laughs. The lights will be turned on this afternoon and the field will glow as the sun sets. The stadium is beautiful and pristine, waiting for the Friday night warriors. Most are sweet boys who hug their moms and their mom's friends. They throw footballs at the little boys who wear jerseys on Fridays too, hoping they will some day be able to take the field when the stands are packed and the home crowd cheers and rings cowbells. They are teen-age boys, all on the verge of becoming men, taking care of business, getting a job done, for their school, for their fans and for a tiny Arkansas community built around the purple and gold Cobras.

Teenagers On The Couch

When teenagers come over and hang out at the house, that makes me so happy. Come, eat my food, watch my tv, tease my youngest son.  Last night Lexie's football playing boyfriend came over and her buddy Angel.  I handed Lex a plate of pork chops and some corn to shuck.  They all stayed outside shucking and grilling, then came in to watch Deadliest Warrior. They check their facebooks, text and Lex was doing a dance called the "Wobble". they play stupid games and throw stuff at each other. It was so perfect. yeah, they kind of make a mess but the boy shakes hands with my husband, Angel gave me a hug and fell asleep on the couch and it was wonderful.And i definitely would rather have them here than anyplace else.  I try not to hover too much, I stay in the kitchen and occasionally throw napkins at them and tell them to stop "snuggling" under the blanket on the couch. But I can hear the laughing and cutting up, I can hear the stupid jokes and Ethan showing off his football war wounds and that's an absolutely magical sound.

If you love teenagers or me, subscribe to this blog. I'll tell you about something great every day!

How To Apologize

Apologies are one of the greatest things in the world.  Giving and getting. Apologies can make you feel like you just stepped out of a shower, you're clean, forgiven and beautiful. And they are so powerful. A heart felt apology can make so much anger, resentment, frustration and sadness melt.  Once you get the words "I'm sorry" out of your mouth, things get better, almost instantly. We all dread  apologizing, but most of the time, once you say your are sorry  people generally think, "wow, he's pretty brave. That took guts". It's really hard to hold a grudge once someone has sincerely said, "I'm sorry". The secret to saying you're sorry is keeping it short. People don't want to hear you going on and on and on. They know what you did. And they don't some long drawn out explanation as to why you burned their house down. Just say you made a mistake, you'll never do it again and you're sorry. Then hand shake or hug it out. Get in, get out, get in done. 

Puney Little Humans

Lightening, thunder, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, straight line winds.  I love kick ass weather. I know it often brings heart ache and destruction but I love really powerful weather because it proves one thing. God and Mother Nature are still totally in control.  We can do and say anything we want but we do not have the ability to control or even slow down the weather. If 70 mile an hour straight line winds blow a tree down and it falls right on my house, not a thing I can do.  If a tornado plows across Arkansas, picks up my house and drops it in Lake Hamilton, not a thing I can do about it.  (Though I'm thinking I should consider more homeowners insurance).We can't even protect ourselves from bad weather.  All we can do is pray. Profound and violent weather is absolutely awe inspiring and reminds me how small I am. So, fellow  human beings, we are not in control, face it. God has all the power when it comes to life and death issues and the weather. And I'm really glad He does.

I Love Fearless Teachers!

There are two things I love this morning, not counting my dog, children and husband.  But I feel I need to write about teachers today.  This morning Sandor (who is 8) got into the car with a Tupperware full of the most disturbing, wretched mixture of egg, dog food, milk, curry power, flower, mushrooms, peanut butter, green food coloring, Crisco, the list goes on and on.  If Big Foot ate a coyote then threw up in a plastic bucket it might look like this mixture. But this grossness is a homework assignment.  Sandor has a great teacher who told the kids to make a disgusting mixture of food stuff, the only catch, they had to carefully measure everything they put in the bucket.  So my boy spent almost an hour carefully figuring out 1/3 cups, 3/4 cups, teaspoons and tablespoons.  He measured every vile ingredient he added to the mixture. This morning the teacher will judge all the horrendous concoctions and kids will win prizes for most disgusting texture, smell and color.   So today I want to say thank you to the teachers who use their imagination to inspire our children to learn.  Kudos to the teachers willing to deal with containers full or horror in the name of education.

I Found My Other Best Friend

     There is nothing better than finding an old friend and discovering they are still your friend and really cool.  I had a friend in high-school. We were great buddies, though radically different. (We never dated and now I'm wondering what my freakin' problem was.Teenagers are so monstrously stupid) Anyway, we found each other two years ago. And the fact that we had not seen or spoken to one another in 30 years didn't matter at all. We are still exactly as we were then, though we've both changed so much.  I think between us there have been four or five marriages, six or seven kids and millions of dollars, but when we talk or e-mail it's as easy and silly as it was in 1976. We argue about everything from politics to music, we make fun of each other, and there's nothing we wouldn't do to help. Finding out an old friend is still one of your best friends is one of the sweetest feelings in the world.

My Bitch Switch Has Been Flipped

     Sometimes it's best to roll around in your bad mood, just give into it and be pissed off, be grumpy and irritable. Today I have a serious case of the "whatevers" and that's not good. For the first couple of hours this morning I tried to fight it. I tried to find thing the be happy about, but right around ten o'clock i said 'screw it I'm in a bad mood. End of story, kids stay away from me.' I don't even know what happened to flip my bitch switch but everything is bugging me and I guess that's ok. Sometimes I guess we need to wallow around in our bad mood like a pig in mud, roll over, get that grumpiness all over you.

On a positive note, now that I'm officially grumpy, I feel a little better.

Getting my daughter in the mindset for school

Guest post written by Maxine Rockwell

Back when I was a kid growing up, I had a really tough time in school. I just couldn't find things that would challenge me and I think that I slacked off a bit because of that. Well, I don't want that for my daughter, who's getting ready to start kindergarten next week. She's very bright and is already doing a pretty good job of reading. But I don't want to worry about her at school, so I'm going to make sure that I prepare her for school as well as I can. That means making sure that she's OK around other strange kids that she doesn't know and she'll pay attention in class.
I was looking up some stuff about what level of reading and learning she should be at by grade level and while I was doing that, I ran across the website Clearwirelessinternet.com. After I read through ti a little bit, I decided to change over my home internet service to one of the packages that I saw on there.
All of this research actually got me back in the mindset for school, which I think will help my daughter in her learning and scholarly pursuits.

What Not To Wear...Over and Over and Over

Is there anything in the world than waking up for work, getting dressed, then realizing you look pretty good, ON THE FIRST TRY!  That's the greatest feeling in the world. When you put on the right skirt, the right bra, the right shirt first thing.  Bad mornings mean I try on at least five different outfits, as the pile of rejected outfits gets bigger on my bed my mood plummets.Then because it takes me so long to get dressed, I'm already running late for the day and I know the first thing I have to do when I get home is clean my freaking room.It's a grim fashion spiral. And on these bad days, that are filled with stylish indecision, when I finally do say yes to an outfit, I still feel ill fitted, frumpy and out of sorts. Ahhh, but putting on the right dress and necklace on the first try is a joyous thing. The fashion angels sing. If the first outfit works the rest of the day will be easy. And I don't have to live with the fear that Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear are going to swoop down and drag me out of the Wal-Mart produce section.

Sorry if you are having trouble leaving comments. You can always e-mail at hampoland@gmail.com or find me of facebook.  Thanks and by the way, you look stunning in that outfit!

Hug Him, It Feels Really Good

     Almost every morning my eight year old will walk into the kitchen in his underwear, like a 65 pound zombie, his hair a mess, his eyes half open. Then he'll  stand right next to me, leaning on my thigh, until I hug him.  I love that moment and those morning hugs.  The boy doesn't need any words or food, he just needs a hug to help him make the transition from dream to reality. That moment is so fine because I know in an hour he'll be making fart noises with his arm pit and threatening to spit orange juice on his sister. But that ten seconds is the best, because it's so pure and warm. Honestly, I don't know if he's aware of what he's doing but it's the highlight of my morning because for once, I know, I can give him exactly what he needs.

And if you like this please subscribe to this blog or leave me a comment. I get lonesome sometimes.

Saturday Success

Saturday morning chores and errands are the best.  Unlike the stuff I have to do all week, Saturday jobs have a beginning and and end and I'm almost always successful. I get Sandor to football practice, he does his stuff and we leave. Success!  I take him to the barber shop. He gets a haircut. Success! I change the sheets on the bed, make the bed, it looks pretty. Success!  My weekdays are rarely that successful because all the jobs never really finished. I check all my e-mails and an hour latter there are more. I work things out for clients, and then there are new people with problems.  My boss tells me new things I need to improve...that list is never ending.  So enjoy your Saturday morning jobs and success. Now, get off the couch and go do something!

I'm Hiding In Here!

Hiding in the bathroom everymorning, with a book, is one of the great joys of my life.  My husband and kids think I'm crazy but this is what I do.

1. get a cup of coffee

2. find the current book I'm reading

3. turn the shower on hot

4. sit on the toilet lid, yes, the lid is closed, and read as the room fills with steam.

This fifteen minutes makes me so happy. The noise from the shower protects me from everything going on in the house, I can't hear any yelling or complaining. I disapper for a few minutes, all alone and protected. My family is very very close, but they generally leave me alone when I'm in the shower. This is the only place I'm absolutely alone, in the house. So I sit quietly and read in my own personal sauna. This drives my husband nuts becasue I'm wasting a ton of water, and I know he's right but I really don't care.  Remember when you were a little kid and you could hide in your treehouse or closet.  Well, that's what I'm doing. So, please don't flush the toilet or turn on the washing machine during my alone time.

I Love Paying Full Price Because I'm Not That Smart

      I absolutely love thrifty/cheap/bargin hunting people, especially the ones who use  coupons. You know, the one's I throw away every week cause I'm a moron and like giving giant corporations all my money.  Last week I was behind a woman in Kroger with a beautifully organized box of coupons. She had 50 bottle of Gatorade and they were all going to be free because of her coupons.  She had two baskets over flowing with food and was patiently going through her file box. I asked if I could stand next to her and watch her totals.  I swear to you, this ladies' $386 dollar grocery bill rolled back to $74 dollars. I was actually cheering for her.  She said she spent about 10 hours a week working on her coupons, as result she saved $312 dollars. Wow.  My friend Cara is super thrifty too and always makes me fill out stupid forms on facebook then I get awesome free stuff in the mail. So thanks Cara.  She actually has a blog about saving money and getting free stuff. http://thebargainhuntingmommy.blogspot.com/  Cara brags that she has 26 boxes of cereal at home so she can donate to charity all the time and she works over consignment stores like a CPA in tax season. So hats off to all you coupon clippers.  You attack your grocery bill like a linebacker, determined to knock it down. It's a sport, a hobby, a passion, a disease I wish I could catch.

Snacks Make EVERYTHING Better

I love unexpected  snacks at the office. Seriously, it makes the day so much better.  It doesn't have to be any thing elaborate just a little bit of yum. It's that moment when I turn the corner to walk into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and TA DA! There's a bowl of homemade Chex Party Mix! Surprise snacks mean somebody in the world wants me to be happy, they aren't mad or disappointed and trying to get something out of me, they just wanted to leave something to snack on. And not knowing who left the snacks, those secret snack givers are even better because then, when you look around you think, 'hey, maybe your the nice person who left me those chocolate chip cookies."  Snacks really improve super boring office meetings and sometimes keep me from making an excuse to leave. I know magazines are always talking about eating too many unhealthy snacks at the office, shut up.  I'm not gonna eat the whole try of brownies, I swear. But I do think I'll have  just one more.

I Love My Redneck School District

   I love the Fountain Lake School District for a number of reasons.  First, it keeps getting better.  It's a much finer school now than it was ten years ago. I know this because I've had kids at Fountain Lake for what feels like 103 years. I love FL because high school kids can buy jeans at Wal-Mart and that's ok. Some parents shop at the mall, some at Old Navy and some do the yard sale thing on Saturday mornings and it's all ok. the kids still hang out together, double wide trailer or 5bedroom/3 bath home. Half the students wear camo or ropers most days and that's just fine too. Nobody really cares and it's absolutely not something they are judged for. I love the Friday night football games because everybody loves the team and the band and going to the game is a huge freaken deal. Football players are in the band and the clicks don't generally pick on each other. And when coaches talk about their kids they sometimes get choked up.  I love FL because teachers know your kids and talk to you about them. I'm actually not very redneck and I don't wear camo but Fountain Lake is still a great piece of red, white and blueAmerican pie and there's not much pie left these days.

Stop Flipping Me Off, I Like Driving Slow!

I'm the woman poking along at 40 miles an hour happy as a clam. That's right, I love driving slow and I don't care if you get ticked off at me.  I meander down the road reading signs, admiring the trees and looking at hobos. I never run over dogs or get speeding tickets cause I like driving like a granny. When I speed up and my kids figure out I'm speeding they cheer for me. On the interstate, I hit the speed limit and stay there, so stop screaming at me.  Generally, I leave early enough so I get to my appointments on time without speeding. So, if you are the guy behind me gesticulating like a crazy man, flipping me off and banging your head and hands on your steering wheel, get over it.  When there's a passing lane I'll slow down and scootch over a little so you can get around me. But if you tail gait or honk I'm gonna really mess with your head, I go even slower, just to piss you off, or I'll stop and let other people in front of me and your head will explode. I win and I didn't run over that hobo in the cross walk!

I Love Mike Tyson

I really like Mike Tyson, the man and the boxer. Let me tell you why before you throw shoes and rocks at me.

Mike Tyson was the Shark Week of boxing. There would be blood and somebody was going down, quickly.  His punches were epic, hell ,Tyson could knock guys out with a jab or lead hook, that's insane.  Stand up right now, pretend you are a boxer, and try to imagine knocking someone out with that front arm.Tyson always charged forward, a man with a mission in the ring and he had beautiful head movement thanks to Cus DeMato.  I think Tyson knocked his opponents out in the first round fifteen times.  Yikes.Ok, I love Mike Tyson the man, right now, because he has changed, moved forward and overcome the animal he once was.  He's now solely focused on his family and pigeons. When he talks about his old self, from 25 years ago, he admits he was a dangerous, egomaniac. But he's not that man anymore. and he works everyday to feed his children and keep his ego chained up. He knows he's got problems but he's working to be a much better man.  I respect that.  I also like the fact Tyson has a tattoo of Aurthur Ashe, the first famous black tennis player on his arm.  This tells me a lot. He respects history and men who made a difference without using violence.

If you need to throw rocks at me now, go on, I've got great head movement.

Cold Milk

Today I was torn.  I wanted to write about one of my favorite words which is ubiquitous and milk.

Power to the cows. One of the greatest things in life is the first glass of milk in a brand new gallon jug. And it's gotta be cold.  That first glass tastes so fresh, so white and clean. Now, I know about all the bad stuff in milk but the first glass is nearly magical. And any time I drink milk I feel as though I'm getting healthier and younger. Maybe there are hormones in milk but I'm pretty sure it's better for me than Mt. Dew of Miller Lite so fill up your glass and have a great day.

*Is there something you really like? Let me know, maybe I'll like it too.

The Ice From Sonic Is Perfect

I'm the person you hate sitting next to at a football game because I'm an ice cruncher.  Yeah, I know it's bad for my teeth, it means I'm missing some mineral in my diet, it means I'm sexually frustrated. I've heard all those lines hundreds of times.  And I don't care.  I try not to chew ice in  public because I know you can hear me crunching away and it's weird and annoying.But I LOVE EATTING ICE!  And the best ice?  You know it's from Sonic.  How is it they have such  terrible burgers but the finest ice on the planet. Those hard little pellets are perfect Sometimes I go to Sonic, order the cheapest thing I can find on the menu then throw it away  (ice cream cone or chicken strip sandwich) just so I can get a gigantic cup of free Sonic ice.  If you haven't tried it you need to just don't eat it around me. People who crunch on ice are soo annoying.

I'm going to try and write about something I love, or at least like, every day. Help me out, tell me what  you love?

Legal Pads Make You Look Like You Have A Plan

Legal pads, especially yellow ones, are exceedingly important to me.  I love them because they make me look like I'm the boss, I'm in charge and I know what the hell I'm doing. If I have a list on a yellow legal pad, I'm generally pretty happy becasue I know where I'm going and what I need to get done. I give people yellow legal pads as presents, all the time. Maybe this makes me sound like an OCD CPA but the truth is, I can get just about anything done with a yellow legal pad, especially a new one. Don't believe me, try it. You don't need to work out or get plastic surgery to feel better about your self. Just make a damn list on a yellow legal pad and get some stuff done.

*If you like something, let me know, especially if it's me or my blog.